The cat who acts like a dog

A very relaxed cat Animals seem to find us…actually I believe, in many situations, they come to people when they are needed the most. This guy came along when we least expected him. We’d had to say goodbye to two canine friends within the past six months leaving a very lonely little “Charlie” and a feline “Lucy” who lives her life in constant denial.

Along comes this guy. We can’t decide if he is a dog in a cat’s body or just plain, delightfully weird. He straddles furniture legs trying to settle in to a purrfect spot. (sorry, couldn’t help it.) lies spread eagled on the cool porcelain tile, drapes his body on my bedside table at night, his legs hanging dramatically over the edge so much so I expect to hear a scrambling thump as he crashes to the floor. So far he’s managed to maintain his perch. He gently grasps my eyeglasses off my nose in an effort to gain my attention for deep shoulder scratches and has claimed possession of one corner of my writing desk. Mind you, my writing desk isn’t that large so he ends up with half of his body slung over my keyboard until I can rescue it and continue plunking the keys from my lap. (Note to self: larger writing desk when we move along with a kitty bed at one end)

I write this with tongue in cheek, however. As with most animal lovers, I wouldn’t change a thing. Oscar has taught Lucy, denial is simply a river in Egypt and fun can be had in the most unlikely places. He has taught Charlie friends come in species other than dogs as they lie together on the porcelain floor surveying their domain from the screened porch. Life is good again, in fact it’s purrfectly sublime.

 

What the Heck is Going On?

I may get a lot of flack for this blurb but having been on both sides of the fence and knowing my son was also a recipient of this abhorrent behavior I have to voice some concerns. I’m talking about bullying.

Within the past week, an incident occurred involving a friend’s daughter. As she and her friends sat around a table working on their projects, 3 boys asked to sit at the table as well. They weren’t working on anything in particular but the girls didn’t object. After a few minutes, one of the boys, stated matter-of-factly, “Mary, (not her real name) you’re going to have ten children when you grow up.” I know….benign and silly. Her response was, “Oh yea, well you’re going to hang around Justin Beiber when you grow up.” Did I mention these were third graders? Secretly, I thought the entire thread funny. No name calling, no sticking out of tongues and no hurtful jabs. Personally, my teenage son thought the idea of hanging out with Justin Beiber pretty cool. I mean, sportscars, pretty girls, bodyguards…every teenage boy’s secret dream, right? The matter should have died right there or at least, that’s my opinion. UBad Boynfortunately it didn’t.

The next day, as this young girl entered the school, the boy grinned and told her, “My mom called the principal. You’re going to get it.” Sure enough, the principal called her into his office for a serious lecture.Unfortunately the boy had altered the phrase slightly. Let’s be honest here. Third graders have the attention span of a goldfish. The risk of “lost in translation” is almost a given for elementary school children. The phrase he accused Mary of saying was, “Oh yea, well you’re going to marry Justin Beiber when you grow up.” Slightly alters the implication. The principal proceeded to chide her for her statement. Am I wrong to feel this is a little over the top? The sad result of this altercation is the boy has now been able to pester Mary secretly and has, completely secure in the knowledge he has the upper hand. So what was accomplished here? Not a helluva a lot.

The sad fact of the matter is, most parents cannot conceive their child being the active antagonist which was personally confirmed to me when my son was in second grade.  At a routine school gathering. I found myself nervously approaching the father of a boy who had been picking on my son. He listened to me attentively before calling his son over and asking him directly, “Is it true you have been doing these things to her son?” Under such scrutiny, the boy confessed he had. After two weeks of grounding, the two boys became best friends soon after. However what floored me was his statement afterward. “I’m glad you came to speak with me about this. I have to warn you, however. There aren’t too many parents with whom you can have this discussion. I have found most of the parents here think their child can do no wrong.” Sadly, he was correct.

Now, I’m pretty sure all of us said things along this vein to a classmate growing up. I’m sure I received as often as I gave but, seriously I don’t remember. I certainly don’t remember this being such as issue in elementary school. Back then,  spats like these disappeared almost as quickly as they appeared.  Like storm clouds on the horizon, they blew in, caused a little havoc then disappeared just as rapidly, to be forgotten in the excitement of kickball during recess. What I find most annoying, most irritating and most irresponsible is a parent making a huge deal out of a situation which was  an opportune teachable moment. In my humble opinion, and it is humble, a better course of action would have been for the boy’s mother to have a serious sit down with her son and grill for all the details of the chain of events. She might have uncovered a few details lacking in the original story. Perhaps a polite invitation for a cup of coffee to the girl’s mother might have been a positive alternative.  I know my son was no angel. He was and is a great kid but in situations such as above, he invariably confessed to pertinent details under interrogation that were lacking in the original transcript.

Bullying is a real problem not to be taken lightly. But as parents, as adults who may or may not have experienced it growing up, shouldn’t we realistically stop and consider the possibility there are two sides to every situation?  My father always said, “There are two sides to every divorce.” I’m sure that holds true in these particular situations as well, no matter the age of the participants. Before parents call in the troops, the Calvary and the FBI, shouldn’t cooler heads prevail?  Shouldn’t we as parents examine the situation with rationality and stop with the knee jerk reactions? If parents simply take everything their little angel says at face value, they are doing a disservice to their children. As in the case of “Mary” and the boy who now thinks he “won” I see the possibility of a real bully in the making further down the road. I pray I’m wrong.

 

Ready, Set, GO

I knew it was going to happen, I knew last fall. But, as is my greatest talent since elementary school, I chose to push the thought to the back of my mind thinking…..”oh I have time.” At first there was at least a 6 month window……then the holidays took precedent. After that there was the rapid fire of family birthdays clustered one after another. All of a sudden the 6 month window is now a little over a month. We have to get ready to rebuild!!!! Home Alone

When we sold our farm and decided to downsize, my husband and I made a pact to settle on a budget and stick to it. No changes….no deviations. To accomplish this feat meant I had to research products and select almost everything. A lot of research. Now before anyone asks, “What is his job?”, my dear hubby will be working harder than ever to oversee the entire project as well as complete much of the plumbing and electrical. And since he has chosen to remain in the dark with regard to computers, the position of purchasing and acquisitions fell on my desk.

Mind you, I’m not complaining. The truth is, I have always loved the thrill of the hunt and when the hunt involves the construction and renovation side of real estate, I find it even more exciting. Perhaps that is what drew me to my darling husband in the first place. Looking out of his parent’s window as he was preparing to head to his construction job one morning, I can still see the checked flannel shirt, well worn jeans and construction boots he was wearing as he looked up and waved. I vividly remember butterflies doing the dance in my stomach watching him and that was over 31 years ago. Woof. 😉 But I digress.

So with a little over a month before we break ground, I have found myself scouring building warehouses, craigslist, ebay.com, overstock and a brand new site, Diggerslist.com. There are always tile warehouses stocked with the remnants of leftover construction projects and although there is image 1never enough to complete a full shower or bathroom floor, there is usually plenty to complete a simple insert or design or perhaps highlight a blacksplash. Thrift stores, flea markets and other internet sites often have marvelous items such as this beautiful little buffet, to be perfectly re-purposed into  a spectacular vanity with a vessel sink for our half bath. Nice word, re-purposed. Gives new meaning to the items I like to discover.

Pinterest has been a boon for the creative soul in all of us. Having spent more than an afternoon scrolling through various boards, it has become exceedingly clear there are so many members in possession of  incredibly creative thought processes. In my lifetime, I will never be able to get halfway through all the pins in my”Projects To Try” folder. It doesn’t mean I won’t try, however. Bless my husband’s heart, he doesn’t even bat an eye now. I managed to snag four of these beauties below which will be hung like barn doors and a pair will serve as the entry to a small living/sitting room. Coming from old high schools and public service buildings about to be razed in Minnesota, the thought of restoring and giving them new purpose is quite satisfying. Besides, the seller threw in an old “auditorium” sign probably dating back to the 60’s. That particular door is going on my son’s room. Considering his domain will be the hangout when his friends come over, I can’t think of a better place of honor.

Now it’s time for me to get back to work. Duty calls.

Vintage-Antique-Wooden-Door-AWESOME

 

 

 

 

Ten Ways to Tighten Your Writing & Hook the Reader

Great, simple, sensible edits….way to cut to the chase!!!

Kristen Lamb's Blog

Screen Shot 2013-03-15 at 9.40.52 AM Image via CellarDoorFilms W.A.N.A. Commons

When I used to edit for a living, I earned the moniker The Death Star because I can be a tad ruthless with prose. Today I hope to teach you guys to be a bit ruthless as well. Before we get started, I do have a quick favor to ask. Some of you may know that I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu so I’ve taken on our dojo’s blog to see if we can try out new and fun content and am using the moniker Dojo Diva.

I posted about how hard it is to begin and the fears that can ever keep us from starting. The way others try to stop us from doing anything remarkable. I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories, so I hope you will stop by and get the discussion going.

Click the word “Comments” and a box should appear…

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We Don’t Need No Thought Control

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

we-dont-need-no-thought-contro

Our kids are in CRISIS.

I work with teenagers in an affluent suburban area.

They don’t comprehend what they read. They use calculators to multiply 10 x 10. The average high school junior has no clue what the word “diligent” means.

They write essays resembling those of a 5th grader. About how Albert Einstein discovered electricity.

In tests administered in reading, science and math to 15 year-olds globally, we are behind TWENTY NINE countries in math. And our kids’ performance in reading and science is  not much better. And yet, American investment in education is unrivaled, globally.

Are you scared yet?

We lead the world in the consumption of illegal recreational drugs. And one of the chief sales outlets?

Our SCHOOLS.

Our teenage suicide rate is the highest in the world.

EVERY DAY there are over 5,400 suicide attempts by kids in grades 7 – 12.

NOW are you scared?

The two places teenagers…

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Search and rescue

I tried to convey a similar thought in that we are all works in progress but you wrote this so succinctly and just spot on. There are no wrong answers, really. Thank you for sharing.

candidkay

My mother, when she was dying, said to me, “There are no wrong answers, Kris.”

She was speaking from the vantage point of someone who has nothing left to lose. Someone with the luxury of looking back on a life filled with worry about making the right choices and realizing, in the end, most of those choices become irrelevant.

I was torn between staying at her bedside and going back to Chicago to take care of my kids. I felt I did not have a choice. My kids needed me. I was the glue in our household. But my mother needed me also.

Recently, I was worrying about the right job, the right parenting, the right financial and life decisions. As I’m sure many of you do. Few of us are immune to trying to game the system for the best results.

choices, options, alternativesIn most situations, you can stay put until…

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Against All Odds—What’s Our REAL Chance of Becoming a Successful Author?

You hit the nail on the head in probably 95% of the cases where one doesn’t quite finish their manuscript. You can’t fail if you don’t finish. Thank you for a kick in the butt. 🙂

Kristen Lamb's Blog

Image and quote courtesy of SEAL of Honor on Facebook. Image and quote courtesy of SEAL of Honor on Facebook.

Many of you were here for last week’s discussion regarding What Makes a Real Writer? When we decide to become professional writers, we have a lot of work ahead of us and sadly, most will not make the cut.

I know it’s a grossly inaccurate movie, but I love G.I. Jane. I recall a scene during Hell Week (the first evolution of S.E.A.L. training) where Master Chief has everyone doing butterfly kicks in the rain. He yells at the recruits to look to their left and look to their right, that statistically, those people will quit.

Who will be the first to ring that bell? Who will be the first to quit?

Image via www.freerepublic.com Image via http://www.freerepublic.com

Years ago, one of my mentors mentioned The 5% Rule. What’s The 5% Rule? So happy you asked. Statistically, only 5% of the population is…

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Patience and Fishing

Family holidays aunder the riverside bridgere sometimes difficult for our son. It’s not that he doesn’t like being with family, he does. But his cousins, being quite older, have families of their own, leaving our son, the youngest by decades, kind of stuck with the old farts. In an effort to make sure he got to enjoy some of the pastimes he would like, we went fishing this morning. In fact, his uncle joined in. Frankly, I wasn’t sure said son would arise at an early hour but, surprisingly he did and we were on our way before 8am.

Promising to meet us at the bait shop, we took off before the uncle because, of course, I needed to indulge in my morning coffee. By the time we arrived at the bait shop ten minutes later, his uncle had not only purchased the proper hooks but a cupful of live bait (shrimp) as well. I have to acknowledge my gratitude at this point. I’m not a fisherman and the idea of skewering a cute little tiny shrimp wasn’t appealing at all.

Without driving all over the island, we decided to walk underneath the bridge and find a spot near the murky waters surrounding the concrete pilings. Besides two other fishing folks, we were the only ones. It was quiet, calm and the waters gently lapped the platform underneath. Having successfully baited the hook, my son cast as far as he was capable into the water We waited……and waited…..and waited some more. Casual conversation occupied our time as we waited for some unsuspecting fish to snap up the the shrimp. Behind my brother in law and my son, I noticed what appeared to be a floating boulder, which of course, was impossible. The boulder turned out to be a pelican flyingcouple of manatees making their way upstream. I would like to proclaim I captured their progress as they meandered upstream but I couldn’t get my camera set up in time. Suffice it to say, they are quite impressive.

Snappers seemed to be toying with my son as they breached the surface several times opposite of the location where my son was fishing. I even spotted on leaping almost twelve inches above the water. Of course, we decided to change our location, try a fresh shrimp and cast a little further out. During this waiting period,  I managed to capture a pelican in flight along with one preening his wings. All the while, my son and his uncle chatted nonchalantly. No nibbles, no tugs, nothing, nada, zip.

The snappers had moved to the other side of the bridge or at least their decoys had. Once again, my son moved to where they were making their existence known and once again, we switched bait and regrouped. After another forty minutes, he called it quits but unwittingly gained experience of learning patience. Patience is not his strong suit, nor apparently of teenagers in general these days. He’d garnered no fish, had only seen the manatee as it began to dive, hadngordon and chase‘t had a single nibble and other than witness a nearby flying pelican, the morning had been a dismal failure. But he came away feeling the time had been well spent.

There had been no text messages. He and his uncle had enjoyed a rare camaraderie. Baiting the hook hadn’t been nearly as gross as he anticipated and there’s just something mystical about early mornings, quiet fishing holes and the serene sound of water. It’s an imaginary throwback to the adventures of Huck Finn. In any case, what he did capture was a little slice of heaven he could tuck into his memory bank.

Happy Easter.